Miscarriage – How we are handling it…
I know this isn’t my typical type of posts… For those who don’t know, we lost our baby… We found out right before our 13 week check up and found out the baby stopped growing at 11 weeks 3 days… It has been heartbreaking for our family. However I learned that being open (even though it was putting myself out there, being completely raw and vulnerable) but it has helped. I have had people come to me and share about their babies, and how they moved on, how people are encouraged by me talking about this. And I think it has let some moms talk about their baby when maybe they feel like they can’t to others….
We HAD to be open about what happened though. We had to put it out there since everyone knew we were expecting. We saw the ultrasound of a happy, healthy, THRIVING baby at 9 weeks 1 day. I want that baby back more than anything…
Now we are 2 weeks past our D&C and are still not able to close this chapter. Maybe me discussing THIS will help me or help someone else. At this time I am still bleeding and still not over this. I went in for an ultrasound and the tech was doing it and
asked if I was seeing the dr today. I told her no, I have an apt scheduled for the end of the following week. She told us she thought we should be seen that day. So we waited around (all while having crazy ideas going through my head) and we were seen. She said my lining is thicker than what they would like and I probably had not passed everything since the D&C. They did not want to scrape to aggressively since we want to try again. So she prescribed a pill (methylergonovine) to make my uterus contract to expel anything else inside. If this does not work we may need another D&C. I am just very emotionally, physically worn out. I don’t want a pity party I just want to move on. Everytime I THINK we are taking a step forward, it sends us two steps back.
I am TRYING to stay positive. I am praying to God DAILY that He helps us get through this, that He helps give me the strength I need.
I know we will get through this. I have Faith that we will. And I have SO much hope for a healthy full term pregnancy from all of the lovely stories others have shared with us. I pray for each one of those families who have lost and had to mourn for their children. I have one thing that helps me, knowing my baby will ONLY ever experience LOVE, not hurt, or sadness, just pure love.
I tried everything to have a healthy pregnancy, something just happen. That is what I am trying to deal with now a
nd not try to focus on why. With my first pregnancy I was completely unhealthy and everything was fine. This one something just “happened”.
If this has happened to you, feel free to message me or reach out to your friends and family. Don’t go through it alone. Lean on those loved ones and grieve. It is the first step to moving forward….
I will FOREVER think of my baby. He will always be in my heart….
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